Jill Scott Explains Her Feelings On Interracial Dating
First…know that Jill is responding to her now infamous and controversial Essence Magazine column talking about interracial dating. And then…
EbenGregory was like…in 2010, with all of the black women out there “dating” white men, how can this still be an issue? I think she needs to date John Mayer. They seem to have a lot in common.
This is EbenGregory.com…telling you to hit the jump to read her controversial column about interracial dating.
You know the moment when you realize that fine, accomplished brother is with a White woman? Let’s call it “the wince.” Three-time Grammy Award-winning artist, writer, actress, philanthropist, mother and all-around Renaissance woman, Jill Scott gets to the root of our feelings on the matter.
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.
Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince” has solely to do with the African story in America.
When our people were enslaved, “Massa” placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.
We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!
Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’.
After reading the article, I don’t see how anyone can take this as racist. Just because it is racial, does not make it racist. She is speaking a point of view of a population, how is that closed minded? It’s simply stating a thought process. 300 years or not, it still happened and as long as there are active KKK and racist wastes of the gift of life on this earth, it will be a prominent factor of this country’s future.
I don’t think it was a promotion of her tour, I think CNN correspondent made it seem like a blatant publicity stunt by changing the subject to it. Almost seemed like a “before you take this woman seriously, she’s an entertainer” move… But you don’t hear me doe
Smh at the comment above. “Another angry black woman?” I guess ignorance does beget ignorance.
another angry black women just step your game up.
This is still a topic? This is really getting old.
Date whoever you want. Don’t let something as shallow as skin color prevent you from being with someone that will make YOU happy.
EVOLVE
I feel what Jill is saying, but at the same time it’s very close minded. She’s looking at this with a “You know, 300 years ago you would’ve been killed for doing that,” mentality. I know there are always going to be people who don’t agree with interracial dating on both sides of the fence but at the same time, if it is a functional and loving relationship what does it matter?
Me, being a man of bi-racial parents and married to a white woman, I get the instances where I’m sure people look at me and say I only did it cause she’s white. Not knowing we have been friends since high school, spent the better half of our late teens and early 20s together and have been there for each other through thick and thin. Not due to any physical attraction off the bat but an actual development of feelings based on getting to know each other on a personal level. But it’s whatever, I can explain that to someone like her all day and in the end they’ll still think I just did it cause she was white.
But then again, people think that the only reason black people voted for Obama was because he was black. So no matter how hard you try, you’ll never win them all…
agreeably
I love how we have learned as a society to ignore aspects reality in order to “get with the times” or “move on” If thats that case, folks wouldnt be callin folks n*ggers anymore, because they themselves would be “elevated” Hey, everyone doesnt have common sense.
We can be agreeacly in disagreement and move on..
Too much emphasis on the past is poisonous to the future. I’m just saying.
It was intelligently written and well said in her interview. I see nothing wrong with her position. It’s okay that she would like to have open dialogue to this subject.
The problem with Jill Scott is that she isn’t elevated enough to look past the colors on someone skin. And, ignorant enough to not see that she isn’t as open-minded as she thinks she is. The difference between her and John Mayer is John never said, “I don’t think white men and black women should date”. Now she looks like a racist that only went on CNN to promote her next tour. But it works because her fan base wants to hear this kind of stuff. It’s the same fanbase that subcribes to Essence, tunes into BET and blames other people for their problems. In a way I am angry that she said these things. But, then I don’t care because she isn’t saying anything controversial. The people that are really paying to attention to her already agree with her. She isn’t winning anyone over, just letting her fans know she’s got a tour coming up. Jill Scott and her racist and feeble minded constituents can go that way.
This headline is misleading on so many levels. If you actually read the article she said:
“Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’.”
She was saying how a lot of sisters feel. Where does it say she doesn’t approve of interracial dating at all?